Mughh, not sure about this... oh well... enjoy
“Thank you Rebecca,
that’s a very brave,” Esmee comment as she took off one of her gloves wrapped
the blade up in it. That was when I saw Rebecca’s defeated eyes change in a
moment of panic and before I had time to react to her or alert Esmee of the
impending danger she had leapt off the bed with a snarl and lunged at Esmee.
Esmee shouted startled as Rebecca knocked into her shoulders
and threw her off balance sending her lied flat out on the floor in one of the
most venerable positions there was. I got to my feet in a flash and made a grab
for Rebecca before she could do more damage but she was very quick and dodged
out of my grasps bolting to the corner of the room where she stepped from side
to side in quick deliberate movement with one arm wrapped over her abdomen and
the fingers from the other in her mouth. Her face was pale white and her
shoulders whole body trembled so much it looked like her legs may give way from
under her. I could hear her breathing come as timid little huffs from her lungs
and her eyes dripped with tears as they looked on at Esmee in an agonized
panic.
Esmee got to her feet and brushed herself off inspecting her
body for damage before turning to Rebecca again and walking gently towards her
still without fear for her own safety. There was a part of me that I had to
resist that wanted to throw her behind me in protection however it was hard to
fear the girl that Rebecca was now. She
looked like she needed wrapping up in silk and blankets rather than being
tackled to the floor like I had intended to do if she hadn’t so elegantly
twisted from my grasps.
As Esmee got closer to her Rebecca backed up further into
the corner whimpering like a puppy. Esmee stopped holding out her hands to her
in what looked like surrender. “It’s OK,” Esmee whispered “I’m not going to
restrain you or put you on the floor, I promise.”
“I’m sorry,” Rebecca whispered repeatedly through her teeth
until Esmee got to her and very gently put bother her hands on her shaking
shoulders while she still rocked from one foot to the other her eyes regarding
Esmee with smoldering fear.
“ it’s OK, I know that you’re sorry, it’s all right. I know
you’re scared but I’m not going to hurt you OK. I understand what happened. It
isn’t acceptable to attack anyone but you know that already and I haven’t been
hurt so we are going to say no harm done this time and move on OK? Now come on,
that arm is still bleeding I need to know what’s going on under all this blood
goo.”
She was amazing. It sounded corny and everyone laughed but
it was still such a pleasure to watch her work. Out of all the great nurses
over history I believed from the bottom of my heart that Esmee deserved a place
with them. Very few showed such resilience and such understanding. Very few
would have got back to their feet after being knocked over and immediately stood
right back in the firing line and no other nurse in the unit could calm anxiety
like she could. I liked to think of myself as a good nurse, but I was nothing
without her. I had learnt nearly everything from observing her actions and
above it all she didn’t just make me a good nurse. She made me a nice human
being who happened to be a nurse.
“Come on
Sweet, let’s get you down to the clinic, it’s going to be OK.”
I saw Rebecca’s
eyes glance up at me as she put her effort into stopping bouncing from foot to foot.
Esmee was trying to help her as best as she could but Rebecca still looked
scared of her for some reason. I wasn’t sure why she was trying to find comfort
in me. I would not have reacted as humanly as Esmee did in the situation.
Rebecca was lucky that she had managed to get out of my first attempt at getting
my arms around her because I had always intended on throwing her to the floor
and carrying her off to the Extra care area. In there the padded walls could
get the brunt of whatever she had to throw ant them and we would have all been
safe. Esmee didn’t think that way though. She understood that she had to be
careful. She understood that a fit of uncontained rage from a patient had
knocked her to the ground; however she like Rebecca did the feared how an ECA
would make someone feel even more. She was a series of selfless acts. At the
same time she was my one most selfish act in the entire world. No one would
hurt her. I would die before they did.
“Emmet can
come too, if you want him too,” Esmee chirped in as she followed Rebecca’s gaze
to my eyes. Everything about me instantly softened as her pure Ebony eyes
locked into my soul. I would do anything for her, give her anything, become
anything.
“He won’t let
me hurt you again,” Rebecca whispered. “I saw the way he looked when I knocked
you over. He was going to take me down and then I couldn’t hurt you anymore.
You are too nice to hurt Esmee and I am scared of myself.”
“Rebecca, listen
to me,” Esmee order turning to so she could lock Rebecca in her serious all
powerful gaze. “You could have hurt me. I bet there was something screaming at
you to get that blade back from me in whatever way that you could. Now you have
me down and you had me vulnerable, you could have really tried to hurt me but
you didn’t did you. You walked away and that’s power to you. I know what it is like to be scared of how
intently you feel and want bad things but you are good, and you are stronger than
that and I trust you. So come on, we’re
going to be fine.”
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